we are both. i have been best friends with the boy who lives down my street for the past 4 years. he has seen me through boys and problems and been there just to be my comfort. he is fun, passionate, wild and embarrassing all in the best possible way, he is my friend.
we've gone to the same school for the past three years, the only real time we spent together was outside school, the bus rides, the afternoons. My school is not the most accepting and understanding place, my friend and I have different friends, run in different circles, alot of people don't even know we are friends. I'm the peppy, social girl, he is the strange funny tall fellow, but this is what we love about each other.
the last few years have been tough for each of us in different ways, but we rely on each other, we are open and completely honest, he knows everything about me and me him.
we were never more than friends, but one tipsy and chill night we were alone and just held each other, we both wanted to go further but our friendship held us back, we were just having fun right? at the end of that night, he admitted that for the last 4 years I was the only girl in his life, that he had loved me and only thought of me and that it was the best and worst thing to happen to him in his life.
we could have eachother. if we did it would be the best thing, we live close, we are the only one each other wants to see, we are comfortable and happy.
we could not have each other. we have been friends for so long, we could not sacrifice our friendship, no one would understand, no one would take the two of us together seriously, i already had a current boyfriend who he was friends with.
if we had each other it would be the best and the worst thing.
he went away on holidays for a month. we forgot about that night and went back to as normal as we could be. no one knew what we had had. the night you came home, i went to see you, we ran into each others arms, we held each other for the next 3 hours, wrapped in our own warmth and stories. we talked and laughed and then said nothing at all. we were content and happy. this was the best kind. then i had to leave to get back to my life, my boyfriend. leaving you, saying goodbye, parting. it was the worst kind.
now i have you, i have you in my heart and my mind, constantly. i am unable to escape you. my life has been put on hold until i see you again. but i cannot see you how others see you. we cannot see each other they way others see each other. we are secret and happy. we are the best and the worst kind of love.
