Its rude
I know its rude
Bad mannered and horrible
Cruel and insensitive
From our first kiss we are told Keep your eyes shut
Even if it is gross and wet
Close your eyes its rude to stare
But every time he kisses me
Everytime he pulls my chest against his
Everytime he lays me down and plays with my hair
My eyes are open
Its rude I tell you
Mean and judgmental
But I cant not
I cant be fully involved
His kiss cant be everything
For those few moments I cant be fully absorbed in him
He cannot be my everything
Not because I don’t want him to be
Not that his kiss isn’t enough to hold my attention
Not that I don’t try
Not that I don’t want
It’s that he is NOT him,
He’s him.
I leave my eyes open to gaze over your shoulder
A place in my brain that is always open
Always wondering if he is watching me
Hoping to catch my eye while I’m with you
We both secretly stare,
Over our partners
Over our loves shoulders
To see if the real love is thinking about us at the exact moment
The one moment we are not are supposed to be thinking about them.
Its rude, Dirty and unloving
Not closing your eyes
While the one you supposedly love is fully committed
Fully engaged fully loving
he was my first kiss,
my first love,
my first everything
He is also the one I stare at over your shoulder
He stands patient, waiting, holding his breath
Meeting my eyes,
holding my attention
Its rude. He is rude
Teasing me like this
Not allowing me to close my eyes
Not allowing me to love
Not allowing me to let go
He is cruel, mean and judgmental of my new love
But then so am I when he is around
He is not mean dirty or unloving
He stands patiently staring at me over some one elses shoulder.
